


and you can have it all

by afteriwake



Series: Sherlolly Spring Fling - April/May 2017 [29]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Comforting molly, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Molly Is a Good Girlfriend, POV Sherlock Holmes, Post-Episode: s04e03 The Final Problem, Sharing a Bed, Sherlock Feels, Sherlock Feels Guilty, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Sherlock Holmes Has a Heart, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper Kissing, Sherlock-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 05:36:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11052423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: Sherlock has thoughts about the events at Sherrinford regarding himself and Molly.





	and you can have it all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [melody1987](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melody1987/gifts), [ThexDoctorsxWife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThexDoctorsxWife/gifts).



> Both **melody1987** and **ThexDoctorsxWife** claimed a kisses prompt from a list I posted to my Tumblr a few months back (" _Kisses because everything hurts right now including being loved by you but you’re also the only thing that makes it feel better_ "), and I had trouble figuring out how to answer it until **fibrochemist** asked for Sherlolly with a specific type of fic for my countdown to my 900th Sherlock fic and I thought of that prompt. I'm sorry it's so short, but I hope you all enjoy! The title comes from "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails.

It shouldn’t have had to come out that way. 

She had deserved infinitely better. If there was anything, _anything_ in that madhouse of horrors he wanted to throttle Eurus for, it was the phone call and the coffin. He wouldn’t, now. No. Not now. There was so much there, so much there to process and he was just so _tired_. He hurt, from the aftermath of the explosion, though he had dodged serious injury, and emotionally and it was all a jumble, and Molly...Molly was offering _comfort_ and _calm_ and _peace_ and he deserved none of it.

She should have been livid. She should have refused to see him. He would have expected nothing less and he was prepared to beg at her door, to beg for everything he held dear. For her. Irene had once said she would have him beg for mercy twice but he had begged Molly to say three small words, no more than eight letters long, to save her life but she had refused. So he had done what she had asked, said those words to her first, intending just to say it but then it clicked. It all clicked.

 _He_ loved _her_.

He loved her more than he loved himself.

The world could survive without him but it should not... _could not_...survive without Margaret Hooper. He would not let it. 

And so he said it again, those three words, with meaning this time. 

He had hoped she knew. He had hoped she understood. It wasn’t a game to him, as it was to Eurus. He had guarded his heart so well he hadn’t known what it had wanted until it was so close to losing what gave it purpose. And perhaps that wasn’t wise; he saw the grief that had ripped through John when he lost Mary, even if his eyes had wandered and he had been so close to losing it all. He could very well go the same way. He didn’t know. It was all so foreign to him.

But if Molly died, there would be no chance to know. She would be beyond his reach before there was a Day One for them. She would be an almost was, a never was, and he would regret that for the rest of his miserable life.

And in the split second before she replied, that dark, horrible voice that haunted him said _however long it might last._

But now...now the voice was at rest. His arms were around her, their bodies pressed together close. They could have skipped past all the steps of courtship and shagged right then and there when she opened the door. The look of relief in her eyes told her someone, Lestrade or Sally most likely, had informed her of some of the events of Sherrinford. Not all, not all, he was left to fill in the gaps, but she knew enough to throw her arms around him and kiss him until she had to pull away, with the kind of desperation he himself felt, the kind that leads to rash decisions, and he was tempted, so tempted.

But she deserved better. She deserved the best.

She deserved him at his best, always at his best, or trying to be his best. 

But for now, everything hurt, even this. But as she lifted her head up off his chest, her hair falling down, and her removed a hand to brush it back, touch her face gently, relish the fact that _she was there_ , alive, breathing, loving him despite it all, and she would still kiss him, despite all the hurt…

He had hope it would settle itself eventually and they would be alright together.

And perhaps that was the best thing to come out of it all.


End file.
